I’m a SAHM of 3 adorable little shits and I say that with endearment. I struggle with schedules, like BAD. I forget to eat at times because I’m too caught up with the kids either chasing one down for a diaper change or attempting to locate something the preteen can’t see right in front of them…. (Tell me I’m not the only one that deals with this one)

The younger two have a different father than the eldest, so majority of the time they are at their father’s house. And by the way, if you don’t have family or close friends nearby to help you out when needed…. I absolutely do not recommend having kids under 2 years apart. I’ll say it’s been a fun run so far though. The middle child hasn’t quite made up their mind if they’re sticking with the whole jealous sibling thing or “no, I’m the baby” thing.

Their father, I’ll say at the beginning before they came into our lives, had talked about future spawns but we’d never really planned for it since there’s been too many other things taking priority to be able to set aside the time, $ , and focus. Then of course, four years later we find I’m pregnant and then surprise, 7 months later I got pregnant again. He and I both have a single child already to someone else. His doesn’t live near by, but mine, I stay within 20 some miles of her as I have her on school days and am required to get her back and forth when it’s my time.

The littles’ father however…. Has never, ever changed a single diaper of our youngest. And I mean, ever. The middle child, he’s changed a couple here and there (he could count them on his hands literally) but, nonetheless it took a while to make him do it. Yes, MAKE him do it. Now normally this is a red flag for me but after looking into it, I’ve noticed many men don’t share this type of responsibility between the parents. So, in attempts to understand better, I’d often left the middle child with him to be able to bond better… While working extremely well, they have now rebelled mom completely. Dad’s apparently the shit and how dare I want to change it. And I don’t want to change it, but I don’t think it’s quite fair to me to always have to be the “mean momma” for setting rules or saying no. She’s also starting potty training, which makes me even more weary to leave her with him as the amount of attention and help she’s going to need to remember to try to go potty and help her in case she has accidents… Am I wrong to think that? If a diapers an issue now…. Whats gonna happen when it’s in her underwear….

And with that being said, I know that these things I’ve listed are red flags and I’m sure many will say I’m dumb to still be here…. But I’m also that person that is more than happy to let you figure it out and learn your way, your time, your pace, so that it gets figured out. So I tend to be lenient with nearly everything in case it’s a matter of knowledge rather than Refusing to try.

I’ve started keeping a logging app that lets me track when he’s with the kids or when he’s not here. Yes, it’s gone that far to need to document it right now.

Said and done….Am I wrong to be upset about it? Should I require more effect? Am I completely wasting my time waiting for something to change?